March 24, 2007

Kirt: Are my posts that sad?
Alvin & Yilin: YAR.
Kirt: -_-ll

Stayed overnight at Yilin's house last night; It was very last minute. Cause my oven DIED ON ME yesterday. T____T Couldn't bake the brownie. Had to rush to Yilin's house to borrow her oven. Thx Yilin for letting me use ur oven and stay overnight at your house. Your parents were great! Your cousin was tooo cute. xD

My dad. I could see he didn't want me to go to Yilin's house. He told me "We work so hard. At night..come home..still got these kind of commitments. Commitments are okay, but this kind of commitments are redundant. You're so inconsiderate."

I felt bad. Very. I know I'm in the wrong daddy. I was wilful. I didn't spare a thought for you and mummy. I promised him there will not be a next time. He was glad I understood. He told me not to make it a habit. I was relieved. Had a difficult time persuading my mum to let me stay at yilin's house though. But I got to stay in the end. I told her "this would be my first and last time this year".

This morning. wm went to see the doc again. Got me worried again. Been worrying abt him the whole night yesterday. Yilin's aircon was cold. It had power! Lols.. Wanted to go visit wm later. Told my mum. She said ok. She added "This year is your crucial year". She was reluctant to let me go. She told me daddy would call. I had this bad feeling. Nothing good will come out of the conversation with my dad.

My dad called. He forbade me to go. I was at a lost. I really wanted to visit him. Yilin and Alvin kor were goin' too. Why can't I go? I know daddy had my interests at heart. He told me not to be stupid. It's contagious. It's as if I'll get it and infect my whole family. He told me not to take stupid risks.

My heart told me to disobey my dad. It told me to defy his orders. I went along with it. Till my dad came. He was at potong pasir. Asked me if I was ready to leave Yilin's house. My brain ..told me rationally..to obey my dad. It was painful. There was only one me. I can't possibly satisfy both sides. I know wm doesn't want me to go visit him too... But I wanted to. Badly.

Ultimately. I had to find a balance between my brain and heart. Both organs are in the same body. I had to choose between one of them. I had to answer to my parents, and myself. I didn't want to upset my parents again. I couldn't let them down again. On the other hand, I wanted to make wm happy. Dilemma. Whatever it is, I've made the decision. That's why I'm here now.

Kirt.

.weiming
shouted at 13:59