March 18, 2007

Ooh. I'm back home! In my very own room! Feel so..umm..glad. Earlier at Dan's house,..I was still missing home..my daddy and mummy. T_T

I've changed.

My rebellious side is surfacing. I'm beginning to rebel against my studies? Sometimes, I'm really not in the mood to study. Not at all. I used to be able to sit down and study for at least a few hours straight. Now.. My study mode seems to be deactivated all the time. Maybe due to the hols. Who knows? I don't. Hope everything returns back to normal tomorrow.

My parents are giving me too much freedom. It's overwhelming. Why can't they be more restricting? Like other parents? I'm not even 16. They should say "NO" when I wanna go out. Be it hanging out with my friends or guildmates. They are giving me pressure at the wrong time. When I'm really devoted to my books, they ask me to study more. When I'm not, they just let me go where ever I want. Too much freedom really sux.

I don't feel 'me' anymore. I seriously don't even know who I've became. I used to be the average nerd. Daydreaming almost all the time. Now. I think things are progressing too fast. Faster..Much faster. I've sort of evolved into .. the typical girl-next-door; immersed in the sweetness of being caressed by a guy. In the past, bf was never linked with me. It's gradually changing. Everything. So fast. I can't adjust. I love the feeling. But.. I'm beginning to lose myself in this. I need to find the real me back.

I'm sorry. I can only blame myself.

Focus.

-Kirt.

.weiming
shouted at 21:49