April 12, 2007

Negativity > positivity

It suddenly dwelled on me..

Do true friends leave you alone and disappear even if you yourself want to be alone? Do they just let you do something all by yourself even if they were part of the team?

Oh Craps.

During training today, when the 3 of us told our cca mistress..IF we were lucky enough to get into the finals, we wouldn't be able to attend the finals. We were going overseas, for conference/immersion programme. Then, she spent like half an hour lecturing us..

T: Why didn't you tell me you wouldn't be able to make it?
Kirt thinking to herself: I told the trainer. He overlooked it. He didn't even process it. He didn't even care. Is he that blinded by pressure or winning?
T: You know. The three of you are wasting the sch's money and the trainer's time.
K: Yea. Who doesn't know. But..nobody told us about the details. You adults just compelled us to go for that freaking competition. You wanna win. Make the sch proud. Save your own face? The previous failure is still lodged in your mind and heart eh? I don't know. Is it because of money? Is it because of the fact that you don't know how to account for this huge sum of cash? Craps.
T: You 3 snatched the other members' chances of gaining an experience.
K: As if we wanted to join. YOU pple forced us to. Did we even have a say? NO. Thanks lady.

Ah wells. The whole conversation was abt our cca mistress reiterating: You know. The three of you are wasting the sch's money and the trainer's time. And.. The 3 of us were like..so bs [bu shuang] with her. I know we wasted resources kae. But.. how can you shift all the blame to us? Crap. Is it really our fault? Well, maybe. What's done cannot be undone. No point dwelling on history. Solutions are what we need now.

It was a bad day. Another one.

'kirt.

.weiming
shouted at 23:46