Yoyo. Today was seriously a humanities day. Mugged like hell. But it was fun I guess. Sometimes, studying can be quite enjoyable. No? Heck. It's part of one's life anyway.

Cousin's birthday celebration today. The cake was cute. Had a key and a lock at the bottom of it. No pic though. He turns 21 on 2nd of May. Whee la la. Oh. And my elder bro's back from camp. His hair's nice. He's tanned. He looks old. LOL. And he shocked me when he ..

Bro: Why you post my pic on your blog?
Kirt: Oh. I did?

Kirt: How'd you know? -_-

Wth. Ok then. Didn't expect him to even visit this blog. And I thought a lot during the bus journey to Pasir ris. 1 hr ride. Negative thoughts. Not exactly though. So many people don't want certain things to end right? Then.. they shouldn't have even begun. And for once, I really felt that there shouldn't have been a beginning. I don't know why. It came just.. so naturally. Like what my mum told me.. Keep your options open. Bio-engineering for food? Options. I just could not control. I should have been more... aware of my limits.

I shouldn't be going, or have gone so far. What's wrong with me? I don't want to be enjoying this for the sake of enjoying.

?forthesakeofattention?

I don't know. Maybe it's true. Maybe it isn't. Maybe there's something deeper. If there really exists such a deeper hidden emotion, why can't I feel it? It's blurred. Vague. Not clear cut enough for me. I just can't help but doubt my own feelings.

Will it appear and surface? Or will it just die within me and disintegrate? Time will tell.

`kirt.